Fears

In our culture there a million situations we are supposed to not want to face as parents. Chief among them is what I call the "CONFESSION", where a child comes to a parent with a big horrible secret.

"I'm gay."

"I'm a stripper."

"I'm pregnant."

"I loves the crystal meth."

And so on.

This morning I realized what my greatest confession fear is:

"Daddy, I really like the band Train."

Actually I take that back. Train writes some catchy tunes and the singer has an undeniably great voice.  What I guess I really fear is:

"Daddy, I really respect Train's lyrics."

I mean, seriously, have you listened to the words in their songs? I was so enraged after seeing their most recent video that I feel like I have to speak out.

Actual lyrics from "If It's Love"

While everybody else is getting out of bed, I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it
and there's a thousand ways you can skin it


My feet have been on the floor, flat like an Idol singer
Remember Winger? I digress,
I confess you are the best thing in my life


Took a loan on a house I own
Can't be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy ya everything
Except cologne
'cause it's poison


We can travel to Spain where the rain falls
Mainly on the plain side and sing
'cause it is we can laugh we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything


Hold our cell phones up in the air
And just be glad we made it here alive
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to your face


Jesus. The lead singer of this band must be the scariest guy in the world if he can push this dreck through the major label system with no one saying "You know what? That's the dumbest shit I have ever heard. Maybe you should rework it." Train is, of course, terrible.

On the plus side, my foot is getting better and today I took a bike ride with these guys.